Stolen Legacy: The Secret White History of Hip Hop

Apr 24, 2008

Stolen Legacy: The Secret White History of Hip Hop · by R.H.S.

Park Jam circa 1971, South Boise

First off I’d like to give a freakishly macrocephalic, chromosomally abnormal, prominent brow ridge-having shout-out to “G” over at GRANDGOOD who recently summoned the fortitude to address one of the most pertinent issues of our day: the wanton marginalization of whites in hiphop. In circling the proverbial wagons against the savage arrows of those who would dare contest the notion that the Genesis of hip hop looked something like an omni-racial love-in set in a sprawling meadow with ample room for hak-e-sak ciphers and banjo battles, G joins the ranks of distinguished scholars such as Fresh, Soderberg, and the inimitable Adam Bernard in defending this rainbow-coalition culture from an onslaught of rabidly europhobic listeners.

Although the selflessness required to publicly defend a group as underfunded and voiceless as white Americans in an arena as hotly contested as the hip hop blogosphere is noteworthy, today we will tastefully refrain from popping bottles of Zima in celebration of G’s Great Stand. Instead we will solemnly honor the long, varied, misunderstood, and intentionally erased legeacy of Caucasian rap. It is a diffcult task in a world where shamming professors wishfully speculate that RA The Rugged Man was a “Nilo-Saharan Negroid,” fallaciously presuming his stage name to be a direct homage to an Egyptian deity, thus obfuscating his European heritage and the husky growl of his voice that undoubtedly evokes the cold coniferous forests of Shleisweig-Holstein far more than the Lower Nile. I shudder when I imagine a future dystopia where the Afro-diasporic elements of hip hop skyrocket to the forefront of scholarly inquiry and the last remaining press kits of the Young Black Teenagers are locked away or even burned by mobs of stampeding dashiki-clad storm troopers.

Enjoy this YouTube playlist of the greatest moments in White Rap History — it’s the least we could do.

Ayo yo, what up yo, time is running out, it’s for real though, let’s connect politick ditto

Comments for "Stolen Legacy: The Secret White History of Hip Hop"

Got to admit, the white rapper show was preposterously addictive programming.

— sankofa Apr 24, 05:39 PM
Fuck outta here RHS. It’s not that deep playboy

G is Latin anyway not a person of pallor

— T. Reynolds Apr 24, 06:18 PM
Great reference, have you read Stolen Legacy?

— Abe Beame Apr 24, 07:39 PM
johnny’s in the basement, mixing up the medicine.

— Rafi Apr 24, 07:47 PM
Oppression of white people never stops. Next they’ll be telling us we have a disproportionate share of the world’s wealth and were responsible for colonialism. The nerve!

— Liam Apr 24, 08:53 PM
It’s funny that once again you try to talk shit about me, RHS, yet on the low you send me friend requests on facebook. Do you want to be my virtual friend or not? I’m so confused. At least have the courtesy to link to my site the next time you type my name so that I can get some small benefit out of your attempt at blog beef.

You still seem to think my problem with the 5%ers has something to do with race. I couldn’t care less who they choose to vilify, what I have a problem with is the idea that anyone with more than a grade school level of education could actually believe that an entire segment of the population was created as some sort of science experiment. I’m not sure how my impatience with ignorance has somehow led to you equating me with white america.

— fresh Apr 24, 10:31 PM
^ ^ Hahaha – fresh is full o the white guilt.

— Jay B Apr 24, 11:02 PM
Actually, I am fully cognizant that your beef with 5%ers stems from your erroneous and anecdotally derived assumption that 5%ers as a whole believe the narratives embodied in the 120 Lessons to be literal accounts of real events.

You’ve written that you have yet to meet any Christians who subscribe to dogmatic thinking, but that your personal experience with the Gods has led you to believe that the movement as a whole consists of one hive-mind that doesn’t flinch a single angstrom from pre-ordained orthodoxy.

I could dissect your personal motivations for making such slanderous allegations or criticize your methodology, which seems to be more emotional than scientific. I could go on at lenght about your gross misreading of the way most Gods get down. I could also mock you for taking the time to expose this supposed threat of dogmatic adherence while exonerating Christians at a time when national policy is being directed by fundamentalists of various hues of megalomania and close-mindedness. But your experience is your experience and your sense of proportion and urgency is also your cross to bear, no pun intended.

Instead I find it a little easier and more worthwhile to take jabs at your blogging, and general trends in hip hop blogging. Why not?

Nobody equated you or G with “white America.” I just associated you with this hilarious trend of attacking all and any pro-Black or afrocentric or nationalistic tendencies or just plain negritude in general. If the association was fallacious, so be it. No beef. But I do recall at least part of your rant against 5%ers to be based on your emotional response to their supposed bigotry … And that you claimed that you steadfastly refused to listen to certain groups based on this reaction, so I don’t think this parodic take on the situation was THAT big of a stretch.

As far as the facebook thing, I sincerely thought you were Doug E. Fresh, because I saw his mug in Rafi’s friend list. Sue me.

— R.H.S. Apr 24, 11:52 PM
yo, how the fuck did you know i have a big head. that’s freaky.

— g@grandgood.com Apr 25, 09:49 AM
Jesus H. Christ! Thun, after all these years, and to liberally quote MC White, I mean Lyte— “I cram to understand you!” A third of what you write processes immediately… The other two thirds require assistance from hyperdictionary.com. That shows to go ya, Princeton degrees are much better than those doled out by Florida Atlantic. No surprise there, eh? Anyfuckinghow, where’s my fucking Main Source CDR, and what have you done with Sir Scratch and K Cut?

— *midnightheory* Apr 25, 10:08 AM
k-cut certainly isn’t averse to white girls in hiphop though- ask his wife. There have been quiet “freedom riders” on both sides. :)

p.s. – why dis 5% mythology- I see nuff of you believe in Jesus, look at how that story sounds… scientifically cloning people might’ve sounded wild in the 30s/40s/50s, but not anymore… things come to light..

Peace to the 24 scientists

— gangalee Apr 25, 10:45 AM
Latins are white: Spanish, Italian, French, Portuguese.

— dante severe Apr 25, 10:04 PM
I know this girl who was mixed, half spanish and latin.

— Rafi Apr 25, 11:15 PM
shit man, you know we ‘laugh at the pale faced devils behind their backs’ knowlege knowledge God!

— kill whitey May 1, 06:38 PM

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