Things to do in New York When You’re a Head

by rafi on February 22, 2010

Ego Trip film night up in Harlem will be excellent on Thursday night.

But you should also go downtown to check out the Internets Celebrities – Dallas Penn, Cas Nozkowski and myself – tomorrow, Tuesday Feb 23 7pm at KGB Bar.

We’ll be there along with dramatist Kyle DeCamp as part of an evening focused on Urban Studies: documentary film and theater. A couple of our videos will be screened, conversation will take place. It should be good times so if you’re in New York come on through.

Remember it starts at 7pm so come straight from work. We don’t care how smelly you are.

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Ego Trippin Down the Fuckin’ Stairs

by rafi on February 22, 2010

If you don’t already know, the operating members of the seminal (nullus) Ego Trip collective are curating a film series at the Maysles Institute in Harlem. Under the influence of ego trip offers up six rarely seen documentaries from the hip-hop era’s first decade. The evenings are hosted by ego trip and include special guests with connections to the films being shown.

I went to last month’s installment which focused on 1970s street gangs in the South Bronx, the environment where hip-hop was born. Being able to watch obscure gems like Shotgun and 80 Blocks From Tiffany’s on a big screen is remarkable itself but having the filmmakers and real-life subjects as guests is the real treasure. These people represent a living history of hip-hop.

I’ll go into more depth about the two movies I saw that night and some more fictitious 70s gang flicks in the near future. But work is hectic right now so consider this a call to check out Thursday’s ego trip documentary night featuring Electric Boogie (1983) and Beat This: A Hip-Hop History (1984).

Related Links

Buy tickets for Under the influence of ego trip
Probably a good idea since last month’s show did sell out.

80 Blocks From Tiffany’s on YouTube
You can’t buy this on DVD, and $135 seems steep for the VHS tape but you can check it out in 8 parts on YouTube.

Ego Trip’s Book of Rap Lists
You already know this is a must-own.

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Bloggaz R.N. Danja!

This week’s big news in music blogging involved Google’s shutdown of six popular music blogs without any warning or any chance for the bloggers to back up their data. Google owns the mega-popular hosted blogging platform Blogger which is best known for attracting beginning bloggers to its blogspot url’s and white-on-black templates.

As you probably know, Google also owns the video platform YouTube, where it has already automated the process of identifying the use of copyright-protected music and shutting those videos down and those users down. Will Blogger be the next to fall under this kind of automated content and account destruction? I don’t know but there is the scent of panic in the air with media referring to this week’s shutdowns as “blogocide” or the “blogocaust”.

It’s natural that Google would want to protect themselves from lawsuits. Being a gigantic aggregator of user generated content while sitting on an unfathomable fortune, makes the company a very prime target for lawsuits. Especially from the ailing music industry whose business model these days seems to involve suing anyone they can.

It’s not evil that Google would want to protect itself. The evil part is they didn’t communicate with these bloggers about the alleged complaints, didn’t give them any notice or any chance to respond.

If you are running your blog on Blogger this should make you very afraid. It could be your blogspot that suddenly gets shut down next.

Come with me if you want to live.

My mission is to protect you.

We don’t have to sit down and do nothing about this. We can bring your blog to a safehouse and give it a new chance at life.

If Google is Cyberdyne, I’m ready to be the T1000. Not the bad one from the first movie. The good one that you sent back from the future to save you.

If this really is the blogocaust, I’m ready to be Oskar Schindler. When it’s all over I promise I will weep about how I could have saved more of you, if only I could have saved just one more MP3 blogger.

My solution is simple. I’m a web programmer – setting up blogs comes easy to me. If you sign up with the affiliate link I give you for my web host (HostGator), I will do a basic Wordpress blog setup for you on your own domain for free. The blog will have a theme and a couple of essential plugins and it will be easy to administer and update. If you’re hosted on blogger or wordpress.com I will even move your blog posts and comments over to your new site.

Interested? Check for more details on your free blog setup.

John Mayer's O Face

I don’t discriminate, I regulate any shade of that ass.

By the way, even if you’re not a music blogger – the deal still applies for you. If you’re not on Blogspot, you’re just starting a new blog – that’s all the better. You can get your free blog set up too.

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The Negroesonice show debuts Thursday 21st at 10pm on ustream tv http://www.ustream.tv/ Featuring Prince Paul and P for real ( Paul Jr ) Guaranteed to be hip hop stupidity and mayhem. Please come check us out every Thursday at 10pm eastern time.

I’m psyched for this but it just dawned on me that Negroes On Ice premiere is going up against the Jersey Shore finale. You probably already know where my priorities are.

Pretty sure ustream will have Negroes On Ice available for viewing on loop after the live broadcast though. That’s how ustream usually works, right?

The irony here is Prince Paul basically invented the fine art of making fun of guidos. Remember the Iroc driving, Italian sausage wielding Popmaster / Black Italiano?

“Bring your woman over here so I can show her a real Italian man. I got the best of both fuckin worlds here! Fuckin black man’s dick, and an Italian man’s… brain!”

“Hey De La Soul, you fucking lasagna heads, that’s better than my mama’s lasagna! Hey! Hey, come on! That was freakin’ A, man! I really wanna take it back home with me, you know! I really get into your fuckin’ music! It’s so excellent! Ah, you big scungiilli heads!”

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My YouTube pal DJ Flower Mantis has cooked up some marvelous shit with this blend right here.

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Nokia established a blogger relationship program all the way back in 2005 where they would send smartphones out to be evaluated by prominent bloggers without any requirement of a review. What they got in return was not just publicity but the feedback of vocal critics who despite getting a free gadget were also quick to point out any flaws of these devices, lest they be considered shills. That Nokia felt strongly enough about their product to do that was in itself a strong marketing move.

I don’t know if the Nokia blogger relations program – which politely turned me down in mid-2008 – is still active. But with that history, I thought it was fitting for Nokia to be the company that turned Nah Right’s eskay into a spokesperson for their new product, the Booklet 3G. You can view the campaign titled “Eskay’s Connection” here.

I’m not a fan of the selling ad-space model for bloggers and we’ll talk more about that in the future but this is something entirely different. The Nokia campaign uses a very visible blogger as celebrity endorsement, and I think it’s great. Check the video and you’ll see Eskay makes a much more believable spokesperson for a tech product than a rapper can. I’m looking at you Jay-Z!

Nah Right is all about up-to-the-minute constant updates. I recently lamented that has made it a poor fit for my liking as a reader, but the same characteristic makes it perfect for a mobile web device testimonial.

It says a lot that Nokia sought out the cool of a hip-hop blogger instead of a rapper to sprinkle brand dust on their product. Of course, it’s hard to imagine any of the rappers Nah Right covers being in a spot like this. Blackberry could do a montage of mc’s in the booth reading their lyrics off their cell phones but that’s about it.

The spot ran on Nah Right last week, showcased by a banner at the top of the page reading “Eskay’s Connection” and just a single low-key text link at the end of a typical Nah Right post. “FYI – I drafted this post on my sweet new Nokia Booklet 3G.” it read. That there were a few cries in the comments about eskay selling out speaks to how irrational people are. After all, Nah Right goes heavy with the ads. This weekend I was visiting that same post and there were giant banner ads above and below the Nah Right header that pushed the actual post below the fold.

It was actually totally jarring to see the Nokia banner days earlier, a banner ad incorporating the blogger where the ad sits. For once the ad wasn’t just this weird thing from another dimension with no connection to the blog. I also imagine Complex and eskay must have worked out a more lucrative deal than their usual ad placement, which also makes me wonder if those cries of “sell out” aren’t really just jealousy at someone doing things differently and getting it right.

We actually made a little Internets Celebrities endorsement deal of our own while getting Stadium Status funded. It’s for a two-person company with no office (hardly Nokia) but they have a kick-ass product that I’ve been using happily for over a year. More to come on that in the future. Feel free to beat the rush by calling us sell-outs now.

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Julia Beverly ills

by rafi on December 11, 2009

You can’t start “Journalism” without a j-o

Last month, a blogger named DJ Xplosive put up a controversial post on the Boosie verse-selling side hustle of Julia Beverly, the founder and editor in chief of Ozone magazine. The story spawned a lot of debate about whether the email exchange with Beverly brokering a deal on behalf of Boosie’s management actually constituted “scamming rappers” as alleged in the post’s headline.

With all the attention paid to debating label clearances and the highly quotable “What’s the most you’re willing to pay” question, the situation’s true ickiness was hiding in plain sight.

There’s no real case to be made that Beverly was dealing fraudulently with the informant George. She was up-front about the verses being uncleared and about the fact that for enough money the label would likely clear them.

DJ Xplosive was working the wrong angle entirely. There’s no evidence that Beverly was scamming rappers, but she’s clearly scamming readers. Some of you may not remember this, but before the internet we had this thing called journalism. And one of the norms and standards of journalism was a separation of church and state between advertising and editorial, and at least the illusion of striving for objectivity.

In those days, when rapper Benzino muscled his way into co-ownership of The Source and people saw the impact it had on album reviews, ad selection and features, it killed the magazine’s credibility in a hurry.

The impropriety in Beverly’s case isn’t about lying to a potential Boosie verse buyer. It’s the bigger picture question: Why is the publisher of a national music magazine using Twitter to hawk verses by one of her magazine’s subjects in the first place?

Beverly hints at her ability to multi-task these ethical quandaries right out of her hair:

“This is going through my booking agency, Agency Twelve, so technically it doesn’t have anything to do with Ozone, but we could probably at least post the record on the Ozonemag.com site when it’s done.”

Afta the scam it’s the afta-party

Quick aside: My wife was pregnant with our first kid and she was complaining about morning sickness to her Sicilian grandmother until her nonna coldly replied “What do you think? You get to be a mother for nothing?”

Well, Julia Beverly is a bad mother and you don’t get to be her for nothing either.

So, after the cease-and-desist note to DJ Xplosive didn’t get his post off the web, Beverly put out an expose of her own. Her offensive (diversion?) was “Scam Afta [sic] Scam”, a 12,000 word Ozone feature which was giddily posted and email blasted around the web right after Thanksgiving weekend, available for download in pdf or wtf rtf format.

Again Beverly showed off her disregard for archaic journalistic ideas about conflict of interest when in the epic’s conclusion she reveals “I too have been bitten by the vampires to the tune of $5,000″, in spite of which she has “made every attempt to be reasonable and objective”. Some might argue that “every attempt” would include assigning an uninvolved reporter to write this story and reaching out to the accused parties for their comments. But that’s not how Julia Beverly rolls.

Some might even point out that if a music magazine publisher wasn’t running a booking agency in the first place they could have avoided being part of their own news stories.

And if Woody had gone right to the police, none of this would have ever happened.

But on the day the article hit the web, Beverly and Ozone were paid handsomely in props and backlinks for the rambling expose.

Eventually the Beverly haters spoke up, like Sandra Rose who vouched for Gucci’s management and took issue with Beverly “casting dispersions [sic]” despite her own long history of alleged shady business.

I don’t know who’s lying in the case of Beverly vs Gucci’s management and I don’t particularly care. What I have learned is that people down south need to learn how to get to the fucking point. 12,000 words? Too bad she doesn’t have an editor. Oh, wait…. And then the reply from Gucci camp came in the form of an hour long podcast. Sorry, we’re just not that into you.

This is all a mess to follow because there’s no clear horse to root for. Sandra Rose. Julia Beverly. Bloggers you never heard of with an axe to grind. Managers and promoters doing shady stuff, really? Is there a trustworthy voice in the bunch or is it just a lot of vendettas and agendas possibly on all sides?

All I know is Beverly gets the crown for the most absurd internet villain for the stunt she pulled while promoting her article.

SEOMG!

The same day Ozone blasted our inboxes with “Scam Afta Scam”, DJ Xplosive was on Twitter pointing out an illegitimate Ning site that had been created using the name and logo of his company Element 9 Muzik for the sole purpose of promoting the Beverly story.

There were only two members on the phony site: DJ Xplosive and Isis Wisdom, a writer who has been highly critical of Beverly for a long time. The one post on the site came from this Isis Wisdom impersonating avatar hyping up Beverly’s new article.

So it seems that Julia Beverly – in a fit of diabolical genius or junior high school foolishness – created a fake site looking like the business site of one of her enemies, then had the fake account of another enemy sing her praises. Again, not exactly the kind of behavior we’re used to seeing from a magazine publisher.

Think about the level of deceitfulness and pettiness involved in creating that Ning site, the big campaign push for getting people to link to the Ozone article and the oddness of writing an article accusing people of fraud without so much as mentioning that a few weeks earlier you had been publicly accused of fraud.

Beverly was flexing her true e-gangsta with this coordinated attack. Since Xplosive hadn’t taken his post down as her lawyers had requested, maybe Beverly was just doing her best to bury his story. Was the whole Ozone article nothing but an attempt to compete on the “Julia Beverly scam” search phrase? Was this all done as part of some brilliant SEO scheme? My world started spinning as I began to consider the likelihood that a questionable journalist was some kind of evil mastermind. Was this Verbal Klimt revealed as Keyser Söze?

Then I saw the fake Julia Beverly account that someone created in retaliation on that Ning site where registration had been left open. “I have a penis” she said. And I realized I might have been giving everybody way too much credit.

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November Blogging Challenge Update

by rafi on November 27, 2009

On November 6 we started a blogging challenge for “fallen bloggers” to jump back into the writing regularly game. The idea was that whomever did the most blogging from Nov 6 through Nov 30 would be the winner (of props, a true thug’s wife).

With four days to go, we’re definitely in the home stretch. Let’s check in with the various parties and see what the standings are:

>bounce/oz
Gretchen seemed well on her way to her promise of crushing all of us with a fast start out the gate but not having posted since Nov 12 is hurting her overall numbers.
Qualifying posts: 4
Highlight: Lil’ Wayne vs Sheneneh Jenkins

20/20Proof
Another blogger who had a strong start but hit a wall early. Last post November 9th.
Qualifying posts: 4
Highlight: Skill sets, baby! Skill sets!

Audible Hype
Justin jumped in late but has stayed fairly active. I would be least surprised to see a Donald Rumsfeld type surge from Audible Hype in these last days. At the same time I can’t say I’d be surprised if zero posts come from over there in the same time span. Justin’s unpredictable like that.
Qualifying posts: 5
Highlight: The Template: Diamond District Remix

Galactic Mystery Solvers
GMS jumped into the fray with a sense of purpose that has propelled them way ahead of the pack. They announced their mission in their return to blogging post “between now and the end of the year, GMS aims to write about every gig we have seen this decade. Around 600 bands and counting.” It sounded downright quixotic but by reaching for the stars this blog seems to have landed on a cloud.
Qualifying posts: 20 (plus a 3-sentence post that didn’t qualify)
Highlight: gigsplurge 17: blighted buzzbands at the bully, autumn 2000

Lukas Kaiser
Lurkr. Tumblr. I’m very glad to know what’s become of the non-Ski Bizzie Boyz. Hope to see some more activity from Kaisr.
Qualifying posts: 4
Highlight: Dana Lucci’s “I’ll Be There Remix”

Daily Math
I dig Combat Jack but this is supposed to be for fallen bloggers. I don’t think a guy who started blogging for xxlmag.com this month and also appeared on their top 100 sites list can count as fallen, no matter how dubious the XXL list is. There was no period of idleness prior to our contest so we’ll have to call this a DQ. In case you were wondering, he would have had 13 qualifying posts at his site. Aside from the XXL blogging. That kind of consistent work ethic has no place in a contest like this.

Oh Word
Tried to stay in it the whole way but some long gaps between posts Nov 11-Nov 16, Nov 16-Nov 23 will cost me dearly in comparison to GMS. But I’ve been enjoying regular blogging and maybe I’ll take Justin up on his offer of a rematch in December.
Qualifying Posts: 9 (counting this one)
Highlight: I can’t pick a favorite between my babies. I mean I can with my real kids but not with my blog posts.

Good luck over the next few days.

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Readymade777, Youtube Video Artist [Interview]

by rafi on November 24, 2009

Update (3/10/2010): Since this interview ran, Youtube pulled the account of Readymade777 for reasons unknown to the artist. They have started a new account for their video art. http://www.youtube.com/readymade7777

The best part of Oh Word TV, a section of this site devoted to curating web videos, is that it’s given me cause to explore off the beaten path of YouTube. I don’t remember where I first learned of Readymade777 but it was love at first site.

As a video artist Readymade777 draws from a palette of american cinema, tv ads, pornography, and our own generation of DIY exhibitionists from the amateur (webcam) to the professional (Paris Hilton). The subversive video mixes they craft are funny except when they’re alienating, erotic until they’re grotesque. Motion picture through a distillation process yielding both a cipher and a roller coaster ride.

The artist was kind enough to agree to an interview by email.

Can you explain the concept of a readymade? In particular, how is a readymade different from other types of video collage work?

The term “readymade”, as you might know was originally applied to art through the Da Da artist Marcel DuChamp. It describes art created from the undisguised, but often modified, use of objects that are not normally considered art, often because they already have a mundane, utilitarian function. Marcel Duchamp was the originator of this in the early 20th-century.

The famous readymade sculpture 'Fountain' by Marcel DuChamp
Marcel Duchamp, Fountain, 1917.

I collect pre-existing media, take them out of their context and juxtapose them into my own mess….which makes sense to me. I call it “readymade video art”. It’s a rather selfish individual pursuit, but then most artistic endeavors are.

Each one of these films is a natural progression for me. All I’m doing is exploring a completely different part of my mind, and it is a truly long, repetitive process, which is always evolving. Each one of my pieces are a RELEASE for me. When I complete them, just as with my painting, I feel free from all my “fences”. This allows me to get all my aggression out. I don’t stop on a piece until it has a flow. You know when you watch art films or collage pieces, they may have some lasting value or some kind of relevance, but they seem uneven or jilted or occasionally completely uninteresting. I am trying to buck that stereotypical trend. and allow my pieces to transcend into a unique form of entertainment so practically anyone can draw some sort of pleasure from at least a second of one of my pieces. I won’t stop til there is that flow, and it feels complete…sometimes it can take months.

I feel I’ve observed that flow in your work, through a repetition or expounding of ideas and images. Via the way clips build on each other: often with funny editorializing on what we’ve just seen or especially patterns emerging, like a leitmotif. For instance things like the blood imagery and the return of the vigilante black cat figure in Sex Sells.

Could you speak for a bit on a topic that’s dear to my heart – what’s it like having YouTube be the platform where your art lives?

Youtube!! It’s such an important element to all of my motivation. When I first set out to start making these pieces, I made them for myself. I realized though that Youtube could be such a great forum though to get the most honest feedback possible; anonymous viewers spewing out raw commentary. This was not a bunch of friends who felt forced to go to one of my art shows and come up to me and tell me how awesome my artwork is. That is a dishonest obligation we all feel when we are subjected to art that a friend pushes upon us. Youtube allowed for people I don’t know to trash me if my stuff was shit. I loved that, and it helped me form my thoughts and grow, and start to create content that had that “wow” factor rather than a bunch of uninteresting fluff that only made sense to me. Since I started making better work as time went on, I took into account the YOUTUBE”S evolution as a relevant pop culture medium and tweaked my work accordingly, knowing that people would watch these things on the small square/rectangle that YT provided. It’s been amazing because as of the last few months, people have approached me about projecting my work as an installation in an art show. Just this last weekend, I anonymously curated a presentation that was close enough to where I lived that when the show was up, I snuck over to it and watched it in a way that someone else thought it should be viewed. I loved it! It was a blast seeing my work projected on a big wall.

And YouTube aside from providing an audience, provides source material for your videos, usually in the form of webcam girls. Which is certainly a new kind of muse. I’m interested in the various women of your videos. One thing that I’ve found fascinating is how the erotic stuff in the vintage videos can blow the roof off the current videos. For instance the girl dreaming and kneading her blanket with her hand. And then from there on up to webcam girls.

Yes, as far as sexuality goes, it is something that is ingrained in us. It’s how we are wired, and it is a permanent fix on the male psyche. It will show up in my work just like all the other driving forces. Consumerism, money, politics, pop art, and a myriad of other things. It always seems as though the naked human form is rather taboo on youtube though, as if it were something to be ashamed of. This is rather maddening to me, so i don’t allow it to get in the way when I’m editing. It seems to me as though the current eroticism of todays culture has been made less effective because it is so mind-numbingly uncreative. This might be the reasons that you found the older vintage clips to be more appealing.

You recently had quite a few fellow youtubers saying “I am Readymade” for one of your videos. A Spartacus moment. A comment on co-creation?

The I Am Readymade video was made in its conception as a fan appreciation piece, which eventually spiralled into many other things. It’s one of the only works will you will actually see my face saying the phrase along with everyone else. I had a lot of fans inquiring about my identity (secretly hoping and praying that I might be that girl, Dani who appears in a lot of my earlier videos.)As a response, I asked most of my youtube friends to send a me a clip of them saying “I am Readymade” There was no direction. They just had to say it, and I told them I would do the rest. Eventually though I started asking a bunch of my personal friends to say it too while I filmed them. The result was the mammoth that you watched. It was huge undertaking.

Do you consider yourself a feminist? A media critic?

I am a feminist (as it was taught to me), which is a person who believes that women should have the same rights and be treated the same as men. There is no hidden agenda. So in its purest form, feminism could be equated to masculinism. They are one and the same. A media critic? who me? Each one of my pieces are mere reflections of the evolution of media. They are rorschach tests. Your reaction to a piece is exactly the right reaction.

See more from Readymade777 on YouTube.

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Letters to Latifah

by rafi on November 23, 2009

The internet can be a pretty weird place. I don’t know what else to say when I look at how the comments of one of the first articles that ran on Oh Word became a magnet for those looking to communicate directly with rapper/actress/chanteuse Queen Latifah.

When we launched Oh Word in 2005 it had a review section that focused on albums from Hip-Hop’s golden age. R.H.S. had written a few paragraphs revisiting 1990’s Queen Latifah and the Flavor Unit. His byline was there, the reviews section tab highlighted, and the voice clearly that of a critic who is not Latifah herself. And yet this post would cause much apparent confusion.

Ironically, R.H.S. even opened his review dismissing the significance of Queen Latifah’s involvement with the album “Don’t let the title and the packaging fool you: although Queen Latifah is featured on two tracks and appears to be the intended selling point of the record, this is DJ Mark the 45 King’s show.”

He goes on to praise the “slept-on classic” at length in a review that received zero comments in the first three months it had been posted. Then one day in January 2006 Linda Greenwood stepped into the picture.

Hello Latifah,

My name is Linda and I am writing to share my story with you. I am almost finish writing my life story. I would love for it to go into film afterwards. I have followed and loved the things you have done. Although I know my life story will be a very challenging story for any producer to bring to life, I also know that once told will be a great one. I feel that you can do this story. I would love to talk to you about my story and if you are interested in it, would love for you to do it. Thank you Linda

It was an earnest but awful pitch. She hadn’t even bothered mentioning why her life story would make for a good movie. But here she was, so confident that this album review on a nerdy rap site gave her an audience with the Queen.

We shared a laugh in private about it but didn’t reply to Linda’s comment. Why crush her dreams?

In July, the post received its second comment, a reader named Alex weighed in with his grim perspective on Linda’s chances.

i dont think latifah will read this,or portray your likeness in film.

— Alex Jul 23, 02:36 PM

And that was that. Delusional woman shut down six months later by cold pragmatism.

Except it was just the beginning.

A Calvin Schexnayder chimed in next. He had a litany of ailments and traumas he had recently suffered and now he was trying to sell three artists he had been representing. Okay his message wasn’t specifically for Latifah. In fact, he was posting the same exact message elsewhere. But what made him come to this post among all other Oh Word pages if not the same eery attraction to the Latifah vortex?

This was the first of several possible snake oil salesmen or at least hail Mary business pitches that would come through the post’s comments. Movies or plays to finance, rappers looking for a shot including one claiming to be the sister of rapper the Game, “copyright mistake information” from someone named Dara Owens (Latifah’s real name is Dana Owens), someone with “an Idea for a swim cap that is off the chart”, a single mother from the Bronx with an idea for a reality show that Latifah would host. The amazing thing about the comment thread is it gives us a glimpse into what the rich and famous must get from people all the time. When you’ve made it, everybody wants something from you.

About a year after the post we were all a bit confused as to why people who don’t understand how the internet works kept showing up here at this old post. Then we had the first message from someone claiming a real life connection to Latifah.

Hi Queen, I wanted you to know that I think you are beautiful. You look just like your Auntie Lida. /we grew up with your father Lance Owens and your Auntie Lida on Broad Street. North Newark and we all went to the same schools. Summer Ave. Broadway Junior High and Lance went to Central I believe along with Pancheta. God bless you and I am so glad to see that you have made it. Tell your father we said hello!

— Pamela &Pancheta Grooms Oct 5, 03:53 PM

Mmm, Pancheta.

Many more of people who seem to know Latifah came through. Many of them also wanted things. Like the former landlord who thought since Latifah already knew the building she could help him find someone to take an empty apartment. But most of them just wanted a phone call. Lots and lots of numbers posted.

One commenter Robin wanted more than a phone call and seemed a bit more delusional than the rest:

i have strange feelings about you i do not know why i have these wet dreams about you and i making love together i do not know why and the movie you been acting in set it off i had that dream about you and i Robbering the bank and do bad things then you kissed me i have these strange feelings and werid dream about you i always wanted you all day long you are not alone i am on your side and i support you if you tell me whats is going on with you if you tell where are you maybe i can get you out of jail and prison Escaped or center just tell me where are you so i can give you help i believe you are innocent i know and give me a information about you so i will help you out i know you that well gave me a chance i can do it i know i can i need you in my life and in my heart always my love.

At Sundance 2007 I happened to run into writer/filmmaker Nelson George on the street one day. He was there for a film he had made with Latifah. I tried to set up an interview with him. Maybe I could get the message to Latifah that we were hosting this answering service for her. Maybe one of these messages was actually important to her, needed to reach her. Christmas could have come early that year for a lot of people but Mr. George didn’t return our calls.

The letters to Santa were marked Return to Sender.

View the original Queen Latifah and the Original Flavor Unit post and its dozens of confused commenters. We’re still receiving comments there, two more messages for Latifah came in this October.

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